It's no secret I am a fan of cheesy 80's music. Like, when I bike around the block on my Huffy, I totally get myself all jacked up to the beat of Europe's "The Final Countdown" just like Ben Roethlisberger does when he's been drinking and sees a banging hot chick that doesn't want to fuck him.
Which brings me to my point...
In a perfect world, this kid is unequivocally considered the fucking man. I'm talking about chicks wanting to suck him off just because he entered the room. Everyone would know who he was, and they would want to be at parties he was at. Maybe he would even be able to go on tours opening up for Bruce Springsteen. He would have his own V.I.P. room where chicks would line up to enter into just to ride this hell out of this kid's gigantic hoss.
Alas, we do not live in a perfect world. It's like dude, get a clue. Chicks don't dig dudes who fucking film themselves playing some sort of banjo/piano/kazoo thing. Fucking Loser.
Update: After watching this video again, I'm thinking this kid has to be autistic. If that is the case, I totally take back everything I just said.
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